Last Friday, one of our own got married.
In the lead-up to the big day, they went through pre-marital counselling, tough conversations, and deep planning — not just for the ceremony, but for the lifelong commitment that comes after. As I listened to them talk about what it takes to bring two lives together — different upbringings, beliefs, habits, and values — I couldn’t help but see the parallels with inclusion and diversity in the workplace .
Because if building a relationship between two people takes that much intentionality… what does it take to do it across a team of 50, 100, or even thousands?
Lesson 1: Weaving Lives Requires Work
Falling in love is easy. Blending lives is hard.
From calendars and communication styles to food preferences and emotional needs — healthy relationships require intentionality. You don’t just add someone to your life, you build a new one together.
It’s the same with diversity and inclusion .
You don’t just hire a wider range of people and hope it works. You design meetings, policies, systems, and feedback loops that weave people together.
It’s about integration — not assimilation.
Lesson 2: Your Truth Isn’t the Truth
We all cling to beliefs that are shaped by our experiences but think about the number of times your worldview has shifted — a conversation, a new piece of information, a lived experience that left you with no choice but to change.
Inclusion in the workplace asks that we loosen our grip — not on our values, but on our certainty.
It asks for humility. To say, “This is what I’ve known — but I’m open to learning more.”
In a relationship, it’s not your job to convince your partner that their upbringing was “wrong.” But when you share your experience and the beliefs that emerged from it, you create space. You allow someone to see the benefit of a different approach.
If I can see the peace, safety, or joy a perspective or way of life offers you, Imay be more open to trying it for myself.
Lesson 3: People Don’t Change Overnight
You might explain how your family does birthdays, or why you value emotional check-ins — but that doesn’t mean your partner gets it on Day One. You may need to explain it again. And again. And again.
Equality, diversity and inclusion efforts work the same way. You can’t send a team to a one-day training and expect a deep cultural shift.
Real change is iterative. And sometimes uncomfortable.
It’s a result of structure, consistency, and grace over time. Just like in other arenas in life … growth is earned, not given.
Lesson 4: Assumptions Are the Enemy of Connection
Diversity and inclusion strategies break down when we assume we already know.
We assume someone’s quiet because they’re disengaged. We assume someone’s direct because they’re rude. We assume someone disagrees because they’re difficult.
Assumptions build walls. Curiosity builds bridges.
True inclusion requires asking: What don’t I know yet? What might I be missing? What does this person need from me in this moment? It requires the humility to put our assumptions down long enough to really listen.
Lesson 5: Disagreement Doesn’t Mean Disrespect
In a healthy relationship, the goal isn’t to avoid conflict — it’s to navigate it well. Disagreements are natural; we may disagree on what time the bins go out or how to discipline a child — but if we share the same core goal, we learn to navigate those differences with care.
Workplace diversity isn’t about always agreeing. It’s about moving forward well, even when we don’t see eye to eye.
Conflict isn’t a dead end … it’s a doorway!
In organisations, the mission is still the mission. You don’t let disagreement derail the goal. You build systems that allow for principled tension — while still getting the work done.
The Hard Work Is Worth It
If integrating two lives is difficult — and it is — imagine doing it across an organisation with hundreds of lives, histories, perspectives, and world views. The complexity is enormous. But so is the potential.
When two people do the work of building a relationship, something beautiful happens — intimacy, safety, trust, growth, and shared purpose. Now imagine what’s possible when organisations commit to the same; not just inclusion and diversity policies , but inclusive cultures in practice.
When companies get this right, the results are exponential.
If you’d like our help to maximise the potential of the upcoming changes into transformative opportunities, get in touch.
We’re Here to Help
Just like in a relationship you can’t do it alone. Whether it’s couples therapy or basking in the wisdom of your grandparents who have been married for 50 years. Every once in a while, we need someone to guide us on our journey.
Some couples wait until they can’t stand each other before seeking help, whereas others take a prevention-is-better-than-cure approach.
Organisations are no different.
Some invest in diversity and inclusion training to reap the long-term benefits. Others are driven by the consequences of inaction.
So whether you’re kicking the tyres or they’ve fallen off completely … we’re here to help.
